Sam Scott

APRIL, 1st 2011

In a surprising move Sam Scott is leaving the Houston Association of REALTORS (HAR).  My sources tell me it could be as soon as next week.  These sources futher confirm he will be joining The National Association of REALTORS (NAR ) Second Century Fund.

Good luck Sam!

Engineers at Marketlinx were stunned to learn that people used other browsers than Microsoft’s Internet Explorer.  They were also flabbergasted to discover the popularity of Macs.

“They don’t let us out much” stated a Marketlinx developer who asked not to be identified.   The fix took a matter of “seconds” according to another engineer, (also who refused to be identified)  “Honestly, I thought Apple went out of business” he added later.

“This is something that I felt needed to be done.” stated John Hensley from LPS Real Estate Group‘s Irvine headquarters.  “I feel we are just working our employees, especially our developers, far far too much.” continued Mr. Hensley.

“And I will promise to lead this effort by example.”  concluded Mr. Hensley

Mr. Hensley also stated that “launch bonuses” would be given to developers any time a new implementation was launched.  “We need to reward them more for their efforts.”

Dale Ross, CEO of RPR,  confirmed what many people have longed suspected, RPR intends to launch a National MLS.  Dubbed Realtor information Property MLS or “RIPMLS” the new system will launch in June of 2011.  “We weren’t fooling anyone, so we thought we might as well get on with it.” stated Mr. Ross.

“We couldn’t keep this secret any longer.”  stated Marty Frame, RPR President.  “Beta testing starts in a couple months.”  When asked about calREDD‘s MLS system Marty Frame stated.  “I wasn’t personally involved with the decision but from what I hear the MLS system is state of the art, and implementations are proceeding in an orderly fashion.”

Joel Singer was at an undisclosed location and could not be reached for comment.

The board of directors of the Midwest Real Estate Data MLS (MRED) announced they have made a selection in their recent executive search.

Howard Doody

“After an exhaustive search we feel that we have found someone we can finally work with.” -stated a long time MRED, LLC board member.

Charlie Melidosian, also seeking the top spot at MRED, LLC, immediately resigned his seat on the board and was replaced by Clarabell the Clown.

Charlie could not be immediately reach for comment because his voice mail stated he would not take any phone calls or emails and required all inquires to be made in writing and mailed to his Baird & Warner office.

In what Joel Singer described as a “necessary move” toward their statewide MLS initiative calREDD. The California Association of REALTORS announced they were formally changing their name to the Krafchow Association of REALTORS or K.A.R for short.

Ed Krafchow

Mr. Singer continued, “Ed was tired of paying all those dues to multiple MLS providers so we had to come up with a way to repay him.”

UPDATE:

In other news, K.A.R also asserted itself beyond the geographic boundaries of California. “Our calREDD project has generated so much interest from outside of California that we are now offering the first 6 months free for all MLS participants 200 miles into the Pacific Ocean as well as 200 miles straight up in the sky.,” offered Singer.

“While we know this is really going to tick off the Chinese and Russians, it simply doesn’t make sense to limit ourselves to just land only. I mean, people do live on boats after all and now we have ex-Microsoft dudes flying into space. It was logical and , believe it or not, our new cool technology is even faster in space. Way, way faster! Like lightspeed faster” stated Joel Singer.

Ed Krafchow had no comment on his new namesake.

Marc Davison

“Get ready Texas!!” yelled Marc Davison as he boarded a plane at LAX airport bound for Austin, TX.

Brian Boero

When asked about this new direction Davison commented, “I really wanted to form a kick ass blues band but Brian couldn’t play a hook on his keyboards if his life depended upon it, so Prog rock was our only choice. But who cares!! It sure beats the hell out of hearing brokers whine all day!”

When asked to list his influences he stated, “Early Zeppelin, The Doors, U2 and Sherry Chis”

“Sherry Chris?” we asked.

Yeah, we named the band “Better Hobos & Godzilla”

“Brand is important man….” finished Marc.

In its first acquisition, since it failed attempt to sell itself, Dominion Enterprises appears to be diversifying.

Sam the happy Prune Farmer

Sam Cloverfield was surprised when a man in a dark blue suit showed up to his farm and said he was from “Norfolk, Virginia” and wanted to buy his prune farm and prune juice manufacturing business.

Prune Juice

Mr. Cloverfield balked at Dominion’s first offer but came to settle on what he refereed to as a “fair price”.

In a related story, a company wide memo was sent to all Dominion Enterprise employees. The memo gave instructions on how to operate the newly installed coin operated locks on employee restrooms.

INCOME!

Sami Inkinen, Trulia Co-Founder

“It was like somebody yelled FIRE”, cited one observer on Market Street in San Francisco near Trulia’s headquarters. “They all just left.”

Rudy, outside Zillow's offices in Seattle.